passionately chubby

Confirmed Pregnancy

Administrator — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 03:44:15 +0000

The problem of my friend is confirmed already. The confirmation came from a friend also which is ALSO part of the "barkada".All the girls in the group knows bout it already, except "me". I don’t know why she choose to tell it to me already. Maybe because, I have observed a lot from the persons involve which had given me ideas about her problem. So maybe she was thinking "why still hide it to me, if thats the case?". Until now they don’t want to tell it to me yet. The only reason I can think of why they don’t want to tell it to me still, is maybe because they dont want to entrust the problem to me. Because tthey are thinking that if ever I will know bout it I will be spread out and can help nothing. It hurts to think that way because they are judging me a lot thought they haven’t tried telling it to me yet. But it’s okay for me, its their choice not to tell it yet and I wont force them to. I can only say this "nanghihinayang ako sa aking friend, AS IN!" you know why? because I thought she wont do that and if ever "she" can handle it. But I’m wrong because she got pregnant. She could have done more things for her family’s future and also for her. As of now, her decision is to make "laglag" of the baby, but when she was told that its going to be a sin, she was already hesitant to what decision she should make. If I am in her place, I should have never entered to the way of making it possible. But since its already there and the baby is inside her womb already, she has to give birth to it because her mistakes was not done by the baby. Regrets at the end as most people says. We should never do anything unless we are prepared for the responsibilities.

They still value me

Administrator — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 03:08:54 +0000

March 23, 2009

On this day I felt like crying because a close ate of mine apologized to me because she was really sorry that she wasn’t able to greet me on my birthday because she have really forgotten it unintentionally, also because she reminded me of my disappointments during that day not just because of her but to all those persons I expected to greet me on that day. Though I was not to tell her that my birthday has passed already. But because her hubby which is also a close friend of mine texted her to tell me that he was sorry for not being able to greet me on my day. At first I had to pretend about what her hubby was talking about. I needed to tell her that I had my birthday last March 18, so she can get what her hubby "tonio" was sorry about. But I told him that I have already accepted that he didn’t make it because he is in abbu dhabi and according to him he was not in the city to do all the fastest way to do whatever he want. And I understand that because he was just there for a month and he can’t cope up with things that quick especially to his budget. But I don’t wanna be a hypocrite, i have to admit that i’m still hurting insede but then i have to understand things because its much reasonable for me to believe them and besides my birthday is already done and they’ve apologized for it already. And I have forgiven them for that. Hopefully next year I’ll be able to meet the big percentage of my expectations.

Take the Risk!

Administrator — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 03:07:07 +0000

March 24, 2009

If the day day before this I just felt like crying on this day I cried. Because my valuable things has to be taken away from me temporarily. I took the risk just for me tobe able to pay my tuition fee, tobe able to go home to our province for a summer vacation and for the graduation of my sister in elementary, most of all for my father to be able to buy a ticket for his flight to manila for him to work again abroad. At first, i fought for my things but realizing that its worth sacrificing for I have to let it happen. I know my father never wanted that to happen but we didn’t have any choice but to sacrifice those for a while. Though I really need those things of mine, I had to consider more important things than still having those things with me without solving any problems. I had to swallow my pride for it and accept it whole-heartedly because the sacrifices are still for me and for the whole family to survive.

Conscience and Pride

Administrator — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 14:22:28 +0000

I feel like I have lost my conscience already just because of my pride that I can’t resist?or should I say, I really don’t wanna get over it. As days passed many thoughts are comin’ into my mind. Such as, maybe she changed her mind already bout what she accused me,but what frightens me everytime I think that I will be attending her class already is that again, and again and again, I still think that she might just give me shame when I enter the class because! I did not enter her class for a week. And she informed me earlier before our pre finals that if I’ll miss one meeting in that both subjects I have with her she will drop me out already. But I ignored that warning from her when she accused me with that,,u know…duuuuuuuuuuhhh..But! there is also this thought in my mind that she might still give me one more chance for her not to drop me out. But still my pride reigned. Because in my heart and in my mind. I really hated her. That’s how high my pride is. Now that I’m struggling because of the tuition that I am gonna pay for finals and it cost higher because of that 2 subjects I have with her. And since I’m not attending her class my tuition that is so high became worthless.My parents don’t know about what my teacher accused me and what Ifelt about that, which brought me to this kind of mess.That’s why my thinking is between conscience and pride. And sad to say I’ve choosen my pride again! I have done another mistake again! and regrets again! as well. Hope this would not bother me anymore. Hope this sem will end very very soon.

Trust

Administrator — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 05:46:05 +0000

It hurts not being trusted by your teacher and it is not good for the heart. It might be normal to those who are guilty of doing something and never to those who are ignorant. But there is no justice when you are accused of doing such thing that you never did. A teacher may stand for his or her rights, same as the students because we also have the rights to protect ourselves, not only for grades but for being a human which is suppose to be treated with respect as long as you dont deserve any bad treatments from a teacher or from anyone. Dont be afraid to speak up. Its not always their time. Students do also have theirs. My teacher might be taking up a law course but she is a judgemental kind of person, stading with her own principles and she dont wanna accept any explaination from you. As long as she thinks she is right.She will insist what she think for her is right. She doesnt fit on her job for being a teacher. I admit she is considerate but she is also unreasonable.

Depressed and Confused

Administrator — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 05:45:31 +0000

Because of this two feelings I have inside me..I didnt attend my class for today because in my two subjects for this day I have same teacher and still am not feeling well for such accusation she had given me. Because of the shame she made me feel..Now I don’t have the guts to show my face to her. Because I am thingking that she might still not accept my approach and explaination. Thats how unreasonable she is.

Undecided..

Administrator — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 12:47:21 +0000

"Im thinking so much about it" At this very hour..I am still very confuse..of why I’m still hesitant to change myself for the better, more than what I am now.The day before I posted this blog…I was asking my friend..who was my beloved advicer..that had given me advises for what I was thingking on that day. Because I was so confused of how to deal with the things I have observed with my friend’s attitude towards me recently though the closeness is already there. I noticed that they we’re somehow still treating me like a child..because it’s what they think I am..basing it on the way I act, speak and etc. But I kept on ignoring those observations I have noticed. As months go by..things have changed..but maybe..I was the only one thingking that way. But I know..with the instincts I have in my mind.,I know that there must really be something wrong..but do you know how I always deal with it?with those thoughts running on my mind? Everytime I feel that they still think I’m still a child, the thoughts of really getting matured, strongly comes into my mind. But again I guess the problem was in me, because at the end of the day I came to realize that on how I react on things I got to see, is giving me more puzzles on how to understand changeable situations like those things that were happening to me, during that time. But the eagerness of me in getting matured, through different things is making me more confused, and frustrated..because I really wanna get the maturity through those kind sof situations but still I can’t stick to that goal of making myself matured because of thingking that by the time I change myself, they will not know me anymore.And I’ve tried it many times,(changing myself) but trying to be a serious type of person is really a difficulty for me. I wanted to be judged not with the way I act but on how they see me as the real me. Changes may come our way, but that doesn’t mean that it can only be seen through the way we act just like laughing at those kinds of shared problems. Because in my case I deal with problems through the laughs I am showing everytime they see and talk to me. But behind that smiles is the serious me, whom you can talk to away from other people..Because Im more serious when it is really needed to be talked seriously. But they judged me with the initial reactions I give. (That’s the only reason I see why they still judge me as a childlike person) I’ll end this with this WORDS

——————- I HAVE TO ACCEPT MYSELF——————–

DESERVE

Administrator — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 04:15:05 +0000

I’ve made mistakes in my life,I’ve let people take advantage of me and i’ve excepted way less than what I deserve. But i’ve learned from my bad choices and even though there are some things I can never get back and people who will never be sorry. I know better next time and won’t settle for anything less that what I deserve.I have to believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn how to let go.Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies..so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together..OUT WITH THE OLD..IN WITH THE NEW..

Learnings from 2008..

Administrator — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 06:52:46 +0000

Adjustments are to be done when growing up..It’s part of leaving the old days with the old attitudes..Things won’t be the same as before..LOL..Expect the unexpected..stop expecting too much from newly met ones..still remember the friends you’ve been to eversince..Hope for quick adjustments..u should do to achieve the better YOU..

Dont use your ego if you arethe sinner but humility instead…PRIDE can’t give you peace of mind for doing something just to make yourself happy..bcoz CONSCIENCE is gonna be your greatest enemy right then..

You might be hesitant to what you should do..For you to think for a very good solution that you can’t make anybody think that you are just doing it for a show or drama..You must be reasonable enough to show to them and defend for what you feel…

To give someone an answer you have to tell them the most sincere and honest answer..With an understandable explaination without any alibi’s for them to accept it with no other thingking..Don’t let them hope for nothing bcoz its not gonna be good for them to think about it..ALL over again…

ang gabi nah ginawang araw

Administrator — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:06:58 +0000

chaka nah! dahil sa paghihigpit nagrerebelde nah

aahahahah!

si reo kagabi nag latagaw sau au nag uwi sa buntag mga 5am

ahahahah!

dugay gimatahan sa mama.

nangasaba pajud ug live!

ehehehehe!

pru sory for her kay lapos lang tosa dunggan nga pangasaba gitulgan ra gani.eheheheh!

aus au diba?

bleah! nweiz na trauma rato xa sa nangyari sakong sister mao ginahigpitan nya guro ko..

pru its hurt parin ke parang wala sila salig sakoa diba?

pru kato lang manpod konga gabie waz nagpapugong nga mag disco latagaw jud ko, ..

diba?

pru chox ra au…pirme manang kasaba..basta kay dinah muusab

total pwede man palabian ug usab pag larga napod xe ermat..

nyayahaha!

ana lang gud?

diba?

chox nah!

anu vha?

makatakod ning mga bayot bah uie!?